It is funny how my "issues" seem to come to the forefront when someone in authority does something that *I* think is unexpected. Humans being human, this happens quite frequently.

I didn't expect Pastor Mike to hear a calling by God to leave Cool Community Church.

I didn't expect God to issue a call to Pastor Mike and his family to leave!

In spite of how I feel, I now realize that I haven't been disappointed by Pastor Mike so much as I have been disappointed, perhaps, by God! I was really hoping that Pastor Mike would stay around a lot longer! :-)

The fact that it is GOD who is "behind" this change, places what is going on in a radically different context for me. God can take my disappointment. I need to pour it out to Him. He alone can offer a godly answer and solution to the heartache I feel.

Author Donna Partow exhorts in one of her books: "Run to the throne instead of to the phone," when disappointed with things in life! I need to remember this and not fill the ear of an indulgent friend, but rather lay my heartache at the feet of Jesus.

Perhaps because of some history in my life with authority figures that disappointed me, it is much easier to pin the blame on a human than on God. But in this case, the human is not the one responsible for "letting me down." In fact, I trust that he is doing what God wants! Pastor Mike is fulfilling the call of God and in a rational moment, untainted by my emotions gone wild, I rejoice that this is the case! I wouldn't want it any other way, in fact.

Would you? I don't imagine any of us would! We want God's will! This is it. Let us rest in that!

So, I bring my heartache and disappointment to God instead of fussing about it to a friend who is willing to put up with me...(Honestly, I have done my share of griping, too...but I am admonished by the scripture that tells me to do everything without grumbling or complaining!)

Bob's post yesterday really challenged me to remember that I DO have a Shepherd. I haven't been "let down" by yet another authority figure. In my flesh, I want to cry "I'm a victim!" Good grief!

Truthfully, I am ready to be done with such lesser things. I am ready to press on toward the upward call of God and to begin to lay a hold of that for which Christ Jesus has laid a hold of me.

God is my ultimate "authority figure." He is a kind, gentle, perfect, wise, loving, Shepherd. He is also a warrior, fighting for me. He is also a King, ruling with sovereignty and power. He is the one in whom I trust. If I struggle with accepting this decision--of letting go of the Ernsts--perhaps He is calling me to release a hold on that which I hold so dear so that I might have the freedom to embrace that to which He now calls...something much greater than I can imagine in the days ahead.

Far from being abandoned, I get the distinct impression that a new adventure has begun!

~ Heidi Bylsma